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peak:

Went to bed & woke up at better times. Got lots of stuff done.


valley:

Not sure about the meaning of some e-mail sent my way.


noise:

Edward McCain.
"I'll Be"


talked to:

My brother.


thoughts:

Going to bed.
Jessie.
Tomorrow.


tuesday, june 6th

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Quote Du Jour:
"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." (Kahlil Gibran)


Okay, it's not actually Tuesday where I live anymore... but I was so busy today that 30 minutes after midnight was the first chance I had to write. In many ways, today was very good. I was super productive. I needed to put some money in the bank, get a new ATM card, have some work done on my cell phone, try to sell some of the photos I've been taking freelance and talk to a guy about some classes I would like to take. Not only did I do all of those things, but I got to bed at 3 (beats 7 or 8) and was up early enough to get all of those things done. Today is a day of personal victory for me. I know, I know... it's a small victory. But a victory none the less.
 
The day also raised a question or two about things with Jessie. I sent out some deep & thought provoking quotes last night to a few friends via e-mail. One of the quotes is included above. Today, Jessie sent that one back to me saying that it was her favorite. What the hell is that supposed to mean. Is it a message to me? Probably so... and it's playing with my mind... and the funny thing is, mind play is one of the motivations I had for sending out the e-mail.
 
Among the quotes was a Mark Twain statement about truth. I was hoping Lindsay would read that and soak it in since she lied to me so many times. There was also a quote about missing out on love. I was hoping a friend with commitment issues would read that and get some ideas. And then there was the quote by Kahlil Gibran... It wasn't aimed at anyone. Anyone, that is, but me. I guess that's what I get for trying to play with people's minds. I get mine played in return.
 
So what did she mean by sending that quote back to me? I know that she loves me. She's told me so (and unlike Lindsay, I think she means it). And I know that she wanted a relationship again and I ruined that idea when I dated Lindsay. So do I reply to the quote? What do I say? What do I do? Do I love her back... and is my love for her the same as the love she has for me? Is it best friend love... or forever love?
 
So many questions. So few answers. So much confusion.

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