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peak: |
Dang it.
I keep writing these things so early in the day... during my "pre-high hours."
:-) |
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valley: |
I ate
some Pringles late Saturday night that did NOT settle well with me.
:-( |
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noise: |
I'm watching
an MTV Road Rules marathon & listening to some
MP3s. |
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talked: |
My
mother. |
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thoughts: |
How well
the straight jacket will fit & what the padded cell will look
like. |
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Sunday,
june
18th |
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Quote
Du Jour:
"So listen with all your heart. Hold it inside
forever. You may find all your dreams have already come true. Look inside
and find the part that's leadin' you 'cause that's the beat of a heart."
(The Warren Brothers w/ Sara Evans, "That's the Beat of a
Heart")
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Do you think it's possible for a sane person to have multiple
personalities?
I love summer. I always have. It's the long awaited break after nine months
of busting your ass (or having your ass busted by someone else) in class.
It's the reward for being a student. Even now as a college student, I savor
the freedom of summer (even if some of that freedom is stolen by my job).
But, it is because of my college student status that summers now have a weird
feel to them.
At school in another state, I'm one person. Here at home, I'm another. It's
as though there is a "school state me" and a "home state me." I wouldn't
call it a "night and day" difference, but the conflict of these personalities
gets me into trouble at times.
The home version of me would have settled down with
Jessie
a while ago... and would have already started planning "happily ever after."
The school version of me wants nothing to do with that. He wants to see &
do everything. He isn't ready to settle. This is complicated further by having
Jessie
in my home state... and almost everyone else that's important to me in my
school state. At times, my home state me says that
Jessie
might just be the one... but that's usually when my other personality jumps
in to disagree.
Yep, I know... the simple answer to this is "be yourself." But it seems that
there are actually two different me's out there. How I play off people...
how outgoing I am... what I'll say and won't say... these things are soooo
different depending on where I'm at and who I'm with. I feel at times that
there can only be one real me. And if that's the case, is how I act at other
times just bullshit? How do I figure out what's real and what's bullshit?
(0418)
A few days ago, I said that I would say more about Georgia and some of the
stories from my experiences in that state -- some of the lessons learned...
Lesson learned #1: "Perfect moments" don't come around when you
are looking for them... it's the times that you could care less about having
a "perfect moment" that they show up.
In October 1999, I flew out to Atlanta with
a co-worker for a journalism-type of convention. If memory serves me correctly,
we spent Wednesday through Sunday together in Atlanta. Our expenses were
paid. Our hotel was the tallest in North America. The view was wonderful.
(Click here and see it for
yourself). When we weren't tending to our convention duties, we
spent all of our time together.
We ate in the tourist-esque restaurants (Hard Rock, Planet Hollywood, et
al.). We visited Underground Atlanta. We took in the Coca-Cola Museum. We
even hiked a couple of miles to tour Turner Field, the home of the Atlanta
Braves. I had dated her a couple of times about a year and a half prior to
this trip... but that relationship ended before it really began for unspoken
reasons. And for some reason, we had been doing a bit of arguing in the weeks
before our trip. But for the few days we were in Atlanta, everything was
different. Any sexual tension that should have been there was gone. Hell,
there wasn't tension of any kind on that trip. We got along like best
friends.
Looking back on the trip... and I'm not just talking about now... I'm talking
about now and on the plane ride home and every time in between... this was
the best trip I've ever taken with folks other than my family. And it almost
beats out the family trips. :-) I went out to Atlanta to see a city I hadn't
really seen much of... to learn a few things from my convention... to meet
some new friends... and to skip school. I came back with memories of what
I will call the longest "perfect moment" of my life. (0432) |