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peak:

Phone conversation with Alex.


valley:

I never got a nap to make up for the mere three hours of sleep I got.


noise:

Eric Clapton.
"Wonderful Tonight"


sustenance:

Tropical punch
Kool-Aid.


thoughts:

Everything.


thursday, july 13th

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Quote Du Jour:
"I don't think anyone is the same after they meet you... and that's a good thing." - Alex to me on the phone tonight.

Alex is not one to talk on the phone. Her specialty is in person. Tonight, on the phone, it seemed like we talked forever... but it was as if no time passed at all. We talked about a lot of stuff. How it might be difficult for us to take another stab at dating because everything she thinks about me, she says that she also thinks about Lindsay. And they are best friends... And I understand how that might be a tad weird. But a relationship with Alex is something that I've given some thought to lately... and that has me excited in one way... and worried in another. Is this something that I need to be thinking about? (0034)


I'm drinking Tropical Punch Kool-Aid. You know, the red kind. The one that stains everything you spill it on. :-) What's so special about that is that I haven't had Tropical Punch Kool-Aid in my house in years & years... but in the last year, it's sorta been the official drink of Jessie's apartment.

We've spent many nights, standing in the kitchen, curled up on the sofa or lying in bed with red Kool-Aid... just talking... sharing... being good friends. Those are some special moments... moments I will hold dear for the rest of my life. But how special are they?

When I compare things... many times I find myself saying that, "one is not better or worse -- the two are just different." And that is so true. My special moments with Jessie or Alex and my special moments with Lindsay are all really special to me. I've had what I call "perfect moments" with all three. So how do you know which one is the best? How do you know which one is "the one?" And if none of them are "the one," how the heck will I know it when I find it?

You see, I guess I'm lucky. I've had some great times with a lot of female friends. But in the back of my head, I'm thinking that if a long-term relationship works out with one of them... then the friendships I've had with the others will suffer. Take for instance my long walk & conversation with Alex the other night. Had I been dating someone, that walk probably would not have happened... and I would have missed out on what was a "perfect moment." What a shame. And if I was dating someone seriously, my long late-night conversations with Jessie would be history, too. And what a loss that would be. I hold these times so dear to my heart... and don't want to lose them... and if I do decide to risk these friendships and special times for a serious relationship, I want to make sure the girl I pick really means something to me. And that's hard to do, because I don't know any girl that doesn't mean something to me... (0044)

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