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I'm not sure. I have a candidate for my high, but I'm not sure about it yet. Lemme get back with you.


Work sucks.
Time flies.
Coworkers are crazy.


Garth Brooks:
"When You Come
Back To Me Again."


Banana snow cone. 



thursday, july 20th

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Quote Du Jour:
"And the angels sang like thunder as I felt myself go under. Now I don't have to wonder anymore." - Garth Brooks, "I Don't Have To Wonder."

Where have the last 16 days gone? Just yesterday, it was July 4th. Just last night, Alex and I sat on the steps of the local university's library and talked. Or so it seems. I guess time flies when you are having fun, huh? But I don't want it to fly. I don't want it to drag, either. I just want to be able to savor it. Soak it up. Hold on to the good moments forever.

In just a few short weeks, the summer is over. I get to see my friends again and that's a great thing... but I have to give up this firefighting stuff for a while... and I have to return to the stupid bureaucracy of the university I attend. I'm not looking forward to either. Just goes to show that you can't have it all. And when you have a little bit... you've got to hold on to it... 'cause it could go away at any moment. (1725)

My outlook on life earned me what may be the best compliment anyone has ever given me. At about 3 a.m. Wednesday morning, Alex and I were talking on ICQ. She asked me if I was excited about getting the chance to do some of this fire stuff. I replied with, "Most definitely. It's what I want to do more than anything. And -- until August -- I'm getting the chance to do it. There are people who live their entire lives without getting to do what they want to do most... I consider myself fortunate and very blessed."

Her reply was: "You are like the greatest person I know."

Wow. What can you say to that? No one has ever said anything like that to me. Of course, I had to ask her why she said it. She said, "Just the way you look at things and say how you feel about it at that moment. Most people (men) don't do that."

I saw her in person Wednesday and asked her about it again... and she said she wasn't lying the night before... that she really meant it. How cool is that? It's been about 38 hours since she told me that and I'm still beaming. (1735)
On Wednesday, I took a day trip to my school in a neighboring state to take care of some business there. I was able to spend some quality time with Alex and that's always cool. I also dropped in to see Lindsay's new apartment. She saw me earlier in the day and invited me to stop by... but I think I surprised her when I called about 7:30 and said I was on my way.

Jose, it seems, was there already. I didn't let that stop me from visiting. :-) As I pulled in, he was pulling out. I'm not sure what that was all about. Hopefully, it wasn't about me. (He eventually returned but was very quiet towards me.) During his absence, Lindsay talked about another boy she is supposedly dating... and how her and Jose aren't really an item. Of course, her attitude changed when he returned. She has such a problem with the truth. I can't believe I ever fell in love with her.

I thought about that as the three of us sat in her living room. Here's a girl, that five months ago, I was making love to... thinking that she was the best thing since sliced bread... and now I see her for what she really is and what she was all along: Someone who has trouble with the truth. How did I ever get involved with her? And why do I think that, on some level, I will always love her? (0144)
Ever have one of those days where you just want to crawl into a hole. And let the world go about with it's stupid, crazy business... Leaving you alone in a private world where you know all of the answers (or at least can figure them out)... and wouldn't have to deal with all of the crazies...

I don't know if you have those kind of days... but I do. (1800)
My tolerance level for stupid people has been very low lately. I returned to work this afternoon (I didn't go in this morning because I was having a weird day (see above paragraph) and found that my lip-pierced, 666-loving co-worker hadn't changed (not that I expected her to). She still thinks every problem in the world is caused by her "piece of shit" computer. She till sighs and moans at three bazillion decibels every time something goes slightly wrong. She still listens to music where people scream real loud.

I like practically all types of music. But I question why people want to fork down 15 bucks for a CD where people are screaming (not singing but screaming) with little beat to carry it along. I just don't see the point. Maybe it makes sense to everyone else... and I'm just being a middle-class, white male and not getting it... but I can't understand it.

I thought about bringing some Garth Brooks to play. She's already proclaimed her hate for country. Would that be mean of me? (1806)

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