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peak:

My high? I'm alive.
And today, that's good enough for me.


valley:

Work still sucks.


noise:

Marc Cohn:
"Walking in Memphis"


sustenance:

Red popcicle.


thoughts:

Work.
Jessie.


friday, july 21th

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Quote Du Jour:
"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" - Eugene Kennedy

Happiness, where are you? It seems that you're all around. A little bit here and a little bit there. So with all of the happiness I'm surrounded by, why do I feel so empty sometimes. What's the missing link? Where is the piece of the puzzle that will make everything perfect? Is it out there? Will I ever find it? I can only hope so. (2044)


I'm thinking of taking a trip to see Jessie tomorrow (Sat) in the city where she's been living for a year. It will be the last time I can make the trip. After this weekend, she moves back to our much smaller hometown. I guess that's good, because she'll be closer. But I really think she was enjoying being away from things... And I don't think she wanted to come back... And it will be odd having her 10 minutes from me and not an hour and a half. Our town is between 5-10% the size of the city she's moving from. It was kind of nice to go and spend a weekend with her in "the big city." I'll miss those weekends.

I've also worried that having her closer to home (which means she's closer to my school) will throw things off. For a year, we've led pretty independent lives and that's allowed a lot of things to happen (like my relationship with Lindsay). When Jessie and I were in college together, there were times we were so close that folks thought we were dating... or engaged... That's not the way I wanted it. And if Jessie had been a guy, folks wouldn't have looked at it the same way. But that's the way it was. And there were times when I felt the obligation to spend my time with her and not make new friends. The year apart has allowed new friendships to form and I don't want to ruin any of that. I want both sides (Jessie AND my new buds) to be happy.

So many times, folks find a love interest or a really good friend and they forget that the world is spinning around them. They are in a world all of their own. Even though they rarely mean to, they alienate friends and family. I don't want that. Jessie is my bestest friend in all of the world. But I don't want her to be my only friend. And I don't want to fall into a deal where I'm spending all of my time with her and none of it with my buds. And that is a distinct possibility with Jessie moving back home. (2054)

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