"I'm reaching out until we reach the circle's end, when you come back to
me again." - Garth Brooks, "When You Come Back To Me
I don't know why...
Maybe it's the sleep deprivation... Or the weird bouts of funkiness my mind
tries to fight off... Perhaps its my body's reaction to the pizza I ate Friday
night for dinner... But at 4:45 a.m. on August 5, I realized that I miss
ol' Alex. I miss her as in I wish
she were here. I wish I could talk to her. I wish that I could give her a
hug. I wish that we were walking around on the
Smallville University campus
again. Just us. In a world of our own. Sharing with each other what is in
our hearts and in our minds.
Some would consider me missing her a tad weird. Ours is a unique relationship.
We dated. We became friends. We did a lot of fighting for a while. (Not really
fighting, but quite a bit of disagreeing) We became friends again. We became
better friends. We shared a perfect moment in the early morning hours of
July 5th on that walk through campus... Wait. I didn't realize it, but that's
been exactly one month. How weird is that? Or should I say how cool is that?
Because that's another way our relationship is unique. At times when it may
seem as though we are far apart -- physically or emotionally or mentally
-- something comes and makes a connection of some sort.
I haven't seen her since the 19th, when I was down at
SUO (where we go to school). And
missing her is not new. I mean, I always miss my friends when I'm away from
school. I miss them because I'm not there. But this morning, I feel
a little different. I miss
Alex because she's not
here. If that makes any sense at all... It's not so much that she
needs to be in
Smallville, but just that
I would like to have her with me. (0457)
I turn off the computer, turn back the sheets on my
bed and pull the cord on the overhead light mounted beneath my ceiling fan.
I plug in a small lamp near the head of my bed. It is the same lamp that
sat on the nightstand between the twin beds of my mother's room in my
grandmother's house. I spent many nights in that room... reading old Archie
comics from the 50s and 60s by the light of this lamp. Now, it lives again.
It spreads a soft, warm glow through its red shade over my bed... giving
me enough light to write this entry on paper and to read another chapter
in my book. But it's glow won't be the only light in my room for long. It's
6:09. The early light of the day can been seen peeking through cracks in
my window blinds. Yes, a new day is upon me... and I'm yet to end the old
writing the above entry, I picked up
"Report from Engine Co. 82" and decided to read another
chapter. There are 11 chapters in all. I've tried to limit myself to one
chapter at a time. And I've done my best to spread my reading time out a
bit. I've had the book a little over 24 hours and after reading a chapter
this morning, I have only three chapters left. I think I'm doing a good job
of pacing myself.
I knew that if I was not disturbed, I would sleep through most of the daylight
hours of today. I secretly hoped that the fire tones would sound sometime
in the mid morning to stimulate me mentally & physically. I knew that
only an event such as a fire or accident could motivate me to action. Of
course, I never want to see any person injured or killed or have their
possessions destroyed by fire. But those things do happen in spite of the
fact that I wish they wouldn't. And I figured that mid to late morning would
be a good time for something to happen if anything was going to happen
Well, moments after my head hit the pillow... just as my eyes were locking
shut for an extended nap, the tones sounded. My pager went off. There was
an accident with people trapped. What can I say? I felt pretty damn bad.
I know that I didn't cause this accident. It wasn't my fault. It took place
miles from my home. But in a moment of weakness, I thought about myself only.
And thought about how something bad happening to someone else could benefit
me. And the something bad did happen to some folks. Shame on me.
With no sleep, I rushed to the scene of the accident.
A truck had hit a concrete culvert head-on. Ouch. That had to hurt. Two of
the patients crawled from the vehicle and another was trapped inside.
Firefighters cut him from the vehicle with the
Jaws for Life and all
three were transported to the hospital. I'm not sure of their current conditions.
I'll have to check on that.
I headed back to the house and considered going to bed momentarily. There
were things that I needed to do, however, and they wouldn't have gotten done
if I spent the day in bed. I gassed up my truck, washed it and dropped off
the roll of film from this morning for processing. I took care of some other
stuff and headed over to
Jessie's apartment about 12:45...
The plan was to get a cold drink and head home for some rest. Of course,
before I could get my cold drink, the tones sounded again... and the pager
sounded to advise the fire department of a house on fire just down the street
from Jessie. I happened to be
the first on the scene, but this house was cooked. The priority was saving
the neighboring homes. I got some photos and helped out a bit. It was a very
productive run. I finally went home, got some lunch and slept... and slept...
and slept... and slept... Did I mention that I slept?
What a day, huh? Just when I thought that the day would amount to nothing...
that I would spend it all in bed... I was surprised. It's a little tiring,
but it's days like today that keep life interesting.