Friday's Highs:

(1) I'm going home.
(2) I went to all of my classes.

Friday's Low:

I still feel sick. I'm hoping one day I will be able to brush away the taste of cherry cough drops from my tongue.

Listening To:

The clicking of the
keys as I type.

Last Thing I Ate:

I haven't eaten anything today... unless you count the dozen cough drops I've had. Hmm, I wonder how many calories those have.

Thinking About:

Coughing my lungs up.
Driving home.
Missing Alex

the twenty-second day of september, 2000... a friday.

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Quote Du Jour:
"You were made perfectly to be loved -- and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning


It's 2 p.m. I should be halfway home by now. At least, that was my plan. I get out of my history class at 12:50. I was gonna swing by the student publications offices and see Alex before heading home. But 10 minutes turned into 20... and 20 minutes turned into 30... and well, I was there a while. I just got in and have piled my dirty laundry in a basket that wasn't made to hold so much. I figure that as soon as I upload this, I'll set out on my 90 minute trip home.
I like the hand-holding and hugs from Alex But for some reason, I don't want to think about them too much... and that's a problem for me because I think about EVERYTHING too much. I've never had a girl screw with my head like Lindsay has. In the past few weeks (since she told me that she never wanted to lay eyes on me again), I haven't talked or thought much about her. Out of sight means out of mind. Or at least it did in her case. And the farther out of my mind she was, the happier I became. However, there was a time where she was feeding me with all of the this "I love you" stuff... and looking back, I don't think I can believe any of it. The gestures of affection Lindsay made towards me seem hollow in retrospect. Maybe the ugly ending of our friendship has tainted some of my memories of our relationship... but maybe not.

I get the hugs and the hand-holding from Alex and I wonder about how sincere these gestures are... even if they are only gestures of friendship. I am a very trusting person... or can be. But I'm finding that I trust fewer people since Lindsay screwed with my head.

I don't know why I'm going home. If I stayed here, I'd probably get to spend some quality time with Alex But something in my gut has been telling me to go home all week long. My inner compass is pointing that direction and I'm going to follow it. There was a time (my freshman year) that I went home almost every weekend. Then there was a time that I stayed away from home all of the time. Now, I'm adopting the philosophy of doing whatever I feel like doing... and that philosophy will probably make me happiest.

As I believe I've said in the past... I leave Alex little quotes from time to time on her desk. They usually deal with friendship or love. I never sign them with my name... just a little smiley face. Today's "Quote Du Jour" was one of the one's I left her this week. Just thought I would provide a little background info. on the quote for ya...
 

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