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peak:

It's a new year. The old one (which was quite crappy for many) is gone. It's a fresh start... or as close to one as we can get in real life.


valley:

I must figure out a way to no blow 2002 the way I did 2001.


noise:

Diamond Rio:
"One More Day"


sustenance:

Ham sandwich.


thoughts:

I must figure out a way to no blow 2002 the way I did 2001.


365:

1 January 2001
The highs & lows of New Year's Eve.


Time to move forward

tuesday, january 1st

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Quote Du Jour:
"There are too many books I haven't read, too many places I haven't seen, too many memories I haven't kept long enough." (Irwin Shaw)

It suddenly feels as though I'm only treading water in life. Sure, I'm moving my arms and my legs... but am I really going anywhere?

Looking back over a year and a half's worth of journal entries makes me realize that I've been on a plateau longer than I should have. Although 2001 handed me some unique personal experiences, it brought little in the way of forward motion. With the exception of launching a career in firefighting, I feel as though I didn't accomplish much in 2001. I feel as though I didn't grow and mature as much as I did in previous years.

Ironically, when I look back on the year... all I see is myself looking back. I spent a lot of time sorting through the experiences I'd already had and not enough time having new ones. This bothers me because for the first time in my life, I see my youth fading. I'm not a geezer yet... but I can see it ahead... and I don't want to hit geezerhood with a U-Haul full of regrets.


There is a scene in the movie "Frequency" where a wife tells her firefighter husband, "there's nothing wrong with old age... just so long as you get there" (or something very similar).

Late Sunday night, Jessie and I laid on her sofa, stared at her lit Christmas tree in an otherwise dark room and talked. I said something about how this holiday has felt different... And how I've tried to soak it all in more than other years because, for some reason, it feels as though I'll never be able to get it back. This one has felt very final and I'm not sure why or even what that feeling is supposed to mean really. Its as though once everything is boxed up and packed away... There will be no getting it out again.

Explain that to me. Or, just maybe, don't.


Resolutions for the new year:
  • Drink more water.
  • Eat more fruit... especially bananas.
  • Graduate college.
  • Figure out how to be a career firefighter upon graduation.
  • Increase fiscal responsibility.
  • Clean my truck at least twice a month.
  • Don't die.


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copyright © 2001, Thomas Fletcher. all rights reserved.