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peak: |
It's a
new year. The old one (which was quite crappy for many) is gone. It's a fresh
start... or as close to one as we can get in real
life. |
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valley: |
I must
figure out a way to no blow 2002 the way I did
2001. |
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noise: |
Diamond
Rio:
"One More Day" |
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sustenance: |
Ham
sandwich. |
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thoughts: |
I must
figure out a way to no blow 2002 the way I did
2001. |
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365: |
1
January 2001
The highs & lows of New Year's
Eve. |
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Time to move
forward |
tuesday, january 1st |
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Quote
Du Jour:
"There are too many books I haven't read,
too many places I haven't seen, too many memories I haven't kept long enough."
(Irwin Shaw)
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It suddenly feels as though I'm only treading water in life. Sure, I'm moving
my arms and my legs... but am I really going anywhere?
Looking back over a year and a half's worth of journal entries makes me realize
that I've been on a plateau longer than I should have. Although 2001
handed me some unique personal experiences, it brought little in the
way of forward motion. With the exception of launching a career in firefighting,
I feel as though I didn't accomplish much in 2001. I feel as though I didn't
grow and mature as much as I did in previous years.
Ironically, when I look back on the year... all I see is myself looking back.
I spent a lot of time sorting through the experiences I'd already had and
not enough time having new ones. This bothers me because for the first time
in my life, I see my youth fading. I'm not a geezer yet... but I can see
it ahead... and I don't want to hit geezerhood with a U-Haul full of regrets.
There is a scene in the movie
"Frequency"
where a wife tells her firefighter husband, "there's nothing wrong with old
age... just so long as you get there" (or something very similar).
Late Sunday night,
Jessie
and I laid on her sofa, stared at her lit Christmas tree in an otherwise
dark room and talked. I said something about how this holiday has felt
different... And how I've tried to soak it all in more than other years because,
for some reason, it feels as though I'll never be able to get it back. This
one has felt very final and I'm not sure why or even what that feeling is
supposed to mean really. Its as though once everything is boxed up and packed
away... There will be no getting it out again.
Explain that to me. Or, just maybe, don't.
Resolutions for the new year:
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Drink more water.
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Eat more fruit... especially bananas.
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Graduate college.
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Figure out how to be a career firefighter upon graduation.
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Increase fiscal responsibility.
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Clean my truck at least twice a month.
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Don't die.
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