peak:
It's Easter.


valley:
Well, there wasn't much Easter harmony 'tween Jessie and I.


noise:
Family Ties (oddly enough, it's one where Elise interviews and gets a job).


food:
Spaghetti.


thoughts:
Butterflies.


365:
28 March 2001
Coming of age.

sunday
03.31.02

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Quote du jour:
"I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about." (Henry Ford)


I do my best to convince those around me of my confidence and I think I'm pretty successful at it. Unbeknownst to most, many times I'm doing my best to convince me of my confidence, too. The results of the latter endeavor, I'm afraid, aren't always as good as I'd like.

It's roughly 10 hours until my job interview... and I'm as nervous as hell. It's a natural reaction, perhaps... but not one I enjoy suffering through. I've been telling myself, "There is no reason to be nervous. It will all work out in the end. It always does. It has to. That's just the way it is." But myself doesn't always listen when I talk to him.

In spite of any butterflies, I've decided that only one of four things can happen tomorrow: (1) I'll be on top of my game and I'll get the job because I deserve it. (2) I'll be on top of my game and won't get the job. I'll then claim that the dirty bastards robbed me. (3) My presentation will be weak and I won't get the job. I'll take the blame for it and will dwell on my screw up for a while. (4) I'll be weak and will get the job, anyway... left to wonder how terrible the other schmuck must have been.

I'
m shooting for #1. I'll take #4. I'd probably be able to swallow #2. But I want nothing to do with #3.

It's almost out of my hands. I'll go there. I'll do my best. And that's all there is to it, right? So why am I worried? Why am I nervous? Why are butterflies doing cartwheels in my stomach?

We'll have answers in a few hours.


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