I had reservations
about writing my last entry... There is something about proclaiming yourself
to be something big and awesome that is inherantly dangerous. The risk of
billing yourself as something you aren't is too great. Yet, I wrote the entry.
And then, the next day, the great Thomas Fletcher fell off of a slow-moving
fire truck in front of God and half of the county. Luckily, only my pride
suffered serious injury. The rest of me is okay... The pride is now hovering
at a slightly lower and more respectable level. This just goes to show that
if you don't keep yourself in check, someone or something else will do it
for you.
I got off this morning at seven after working
a 24-hour shift. Because the guys I work with on two of the shifts stay up
half the night, I'm usually up with them. This means that I'm pretty tired
when I get off work and it means that I spend some serious time napping on
my couch. I've noticed that this routine is getting worse... And I'm suffering
from little to no productivity on my days off.
Today was the worst of them all. Armed with a lengthy list of things to do,
I ignored the neccessary chores and sprawled out on the sofa to sleep until
well after lunch. I then got up, made my way over to the computer and began
working on some JohnDoe.Org administrative stuff. Before I knew it... My
entire day had blown by me. Even now, as it is late in the evening... I feel
like it should still be near 8 a.m. as it was when I walked in from work.
For the record, this practice -- and the way it makes me feel -- sucks.
I just don't know how to correct it. Something in my brain tells me that
it's okay to sleep some more... and some more. And when I'm working on the
computer, something in my brain tells me that I'll be up in just a few minutes...
and then a few more... and then a few more.
Of course, don't misunderstand me. I did get stuff done. JohnDoe is moving
hosts and implementing a fee schedule. As a site admin, there is plenty for
me to do and I accomplished quite a bit today. But it was all on the computer...
And I put off stuff like buying the sneakers I've been meaning to get for
a while. And picking up a SAM's Club membership so that I can buy 800 gallon
buckets of ketchup. I needed to continue my search for wall art and buy a
dress uniform for work. Those are all things I can get done tomorrow... And,
hopefully, will get done tomorrow. But there's no need in putting it off.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Life is a lot easier to swallow
in small doses... Yet I'm still suffering from one fo the same problems I've
had most of my life. I'm putting stuff off and expecting to do it all at
one time without difficulty. Gratned, I've have some deadline pressure,
last-minute heroics to my crdit. But that shit is getting old. It's time
to overcome this problem. Yet, while everything seems so crystal clear and
easily resolved at this late hour... These revolations come without the
distractions that tommorrow will bring. Stuff will come up... And I'll postpone
half of my to do list until another day... And I'll be just as frustrated
at the end of tomorrow. Sigh. |
